Tired. Exhausted. I am sinking; no, I am being dragged down. Defeat. I am submitting to defeat. I can’t breathe. I try to struggle but I am too weak, too tired, too empty. I can’t escape. The surface disappears. A thin layer of a dull bleak…
A baritone roar bellows, ringing in my ears. A different sound, one that is quick and turbulent, races towards me at a frightening speed. I open my eyes, dizzy. Specks of people begin to light up; Oh, my train is here.
It was just a daze. Truthfully, I honestly wish I could say it was just a hallucination. I can barely admit what happened to myself. It was a reality not too long ago.
It doesn’t matter now. My life is back on track. But the sinking feeling muses around deep in my heart and chest.
I am on the road to success. I cannot give up. There will not be another attempt of suicide. I am not putting myself through it anymore. I cannot do it. I have to stay focus and keep myself busy. I am going to push through and prove that depression cannot dominate my life. I just have to keep going.
I am Tom. I am not Tom-the-Depressed-Guy. or Tom-the-Guy-in-Pain. And by getting on this train I am not Tom-the-Guy-Without-a-Life. I am Tom, just an ordinary guy.
This train is a one way travel to what I need–a life out of bed. I am going to conquer.